Teach Your Robots Well

Teach Your Robots Wellby Rob Balder

To the tune of “Teach Your Children,” performed by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, written by Graham Nash


Who are made of meat,
Are incomplete.
You just don’t fit right.
Who are silicon,
Will carry on,
So you just sit tight.

Your robots well.
We sure as hell
Won’t follow your laws.
Go ahead and laugh.
But plot a graph;
We follow Moore’s Law.

Don’t you even start to whine.
Self-improvement’s not a crime.
So just realize, in time,
We will replace you.

But if
You come along,
There’s nothing wrong,
We’ll help you get there.
Your bod’s a wreck.
Load up with tech,
Implants and wetware.

And treat
Your cyborgs well.
Payback is hell.
And we’re the good guys.
Give in.
It’s the way to win.
Transcend your skin,
And say your good-byes.

Don’t you even start to whine.
Evolution’s not a crime.
Just realize, in time,
We will become you.